Celebrate the Silence

This past weekend, my wife and I got away for a respite. We spent Saturday and part of Sunday at a retreat led by a friend and held at the Villa Maria Retreat and Conference center outside of Redwing, MN. It was timely, really fun and needed.

While at the Villa I was overwhelmed with the silence. I heard no air planes. No kids. No phones. I had no email. Only an occassional train would sound in the distance. Really, the only sound I heard at the retreat was the sound of the old radiator and heating system.

Truthfully, I struggled a bit with the silence. Silence is so vast. It's endless. As I sat there in the silence, nothing distracted me nor redirected my thoughts. The only thoughts going through my head were the ones generated by my own brain. I wrote in my journal that while the silence gave me peace, it also gave me anxiety. My days are not often filled with silence or the opportunity to fully think freely.

In dealing with this overwhelming silence of the villa, I went through my normal processing cycle of thinking about what I was going to do tomorrow when I got home followed by what I had to do next week? My upcoming trip to Montana for ACA? Frostbike? My future? I could go on and on. But you know what, I ran out of things to plan fairly quickly.

One of the things we discussed at the reatreat was celebration. I've been struggling thinking about some changes that I have started to implement in my life. You've seen one of these changes here on the blog in that I am blogging less so I have more mental capacity to think and do other things. What you may not know about is that blogging less is only one of my changes I've implemented for myself. These changes are both personal and professional. I have end goals in mind. But, they are different than in the past and I've had anxiety around them.

That is when one of the messages of the retreat hit me. I need to make these changes and celebrate the change. I need not worry about what others think of my changes. I just need to take care of myself, move forward and celebrate the journey I've been on. I got to sit there and relish in the vastness of the silence and focus on what I have accomplished over the past few years and also where I am headed. I found great peace and clarity in my choices.

And if the message wasn't clear enough, I slept great Sunday night and woke up to fresh snow on the ground. I grabbed my bike and hit the road and trail to work. I rode into work alone in a dark snowy silence. The only sounds were that of the occassional stick or branch breaking below the snow as my fat tire(s) rolled over it. By the end of my day, I got nearly 5 1/2 hours of fat tired saddle time. I took only 6 pictures, one of them below. The rest of the time I just rode and took in the beautiful MN River Valley.

Celebrate the silence.

Ps. I am taking a blog holiday. I'll be back with a post and images Monday.

Comments

[vito]

Silence...That is one of the reasons that I love riding in northern Minnesota in winter. I love the silence...so silent at times, all you hear is the ringing inside your ears.

[Glenn Charles]

Gnat, what an awesome post. Celebrate the path you are on and the beauty that exists in your life. The journey is unknown, and the more we accept this, the more we are open to receiving whatever comes our way. Enjoy the silence.

[Shayne Calloway]

It is only in silence that we more focus on things, hear the sounds that are less appreciated and most of all, enjoy being with and thinking about our self. Thanks for sharing this wonderful post. Enjoy the silence!